just existing vs. really living

Today is the first day of my spring break. We have over 5 inches of snow outside just begging me to play in it. I would love to make a snowman, sled down a big hill, make snow angels, and run around with the puppy until we both get lost in the sea of white. But for some reason the thought of all of those things makes me sad. I can remember when I was young, my brother and I would play together for hours and not get bored. Our imaginations would never tire. But everyone is too busy these days to play in the snow. People have places to be, things to do, tasks to finish, and nothing will slow them down. Not even snow-covered roads and blizzard winds! Life only gets faster and faster until we don’t realize how much time has gone by. What have we really accomplished by rushing through it all? What have we missed along the way? Why are we in such a hurry for things that don’t even matter? Most days we rush through the day just existing, not really living. We’re only watching the time slip away.

I don’t want to live like that! I want every moment of the day to be for the glory of God. I want to be in a constant mindset of prayer and praise. My prayer is that every second of the day would be spent bringing God the praise and glory He deserves. I don’t want to settle for any less than all I have to give. He has given me each day to use for His name, so I don’t want to rush through the day preoccupied with things that don’t even matter.

These are the thoughts on my mind today as I sit enjoying the slow pace of spring break. May every second of every day be for Him alone.

rainy days with the God of all comfort

I love the rain. I love listening to it. I love watching it fall. I love playing in it. I love the rain. Something about a rainy day makes all my stresses go away. To me, rain is like a glimpse of God’s comfort. One glimpse of His comfort sweeps away all thoughts of the world, and the suffering of this life, and brings delight to the soul of the one that is His. God's comfort brings that peace and pleasure which the smiles of the world cannot give, and the frowns of the world cannot take away.

Today was a rainy day. Well, if you consider icy sleet as rain, it was. I had the opportunity to curl up in my fleece blanket and spend time with the God of All Comfort. For most college students, rainy days are no fun. We have to put on our rain boots, tote our umbrellas (that usually end up breaking), keep our hair from frizzing, try not to fall walking to class, and roll up our jeans so they don’t get soaked as our boots slosh in the puddles. Rainy days require extra energy for college students who tend to skip class regularly. But for me…I LOVE RAINY DAYS! The rain soothes me and helps me to take my focus off of everyday stresses. The rain reminds me of God’s presence and His grace.

Most days, I stress more than I should. I am the type of person who procrastinates on everything, becomes involved in too much, and carries everyone’s burdens as my own. All this baggage weighs me down constantly. I stress about my family, the salvation of others, my health, school, deadlines, financial situations, my future as a missionary, and even my past. But somehow, rainy days relieve my mind from all of these anxieties. Today, while I was cuddling with my fleece blanket, I came across a verse in Psalm 94 that gave authenticity to my thoughts for today.

When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.

Psalm 94:18-19

No matter what I stress over or how often that stress plagues me, there is always consolation for my soul through God and His Word. There is nothing that I have to face that He has not already endured on my behalf. He paid it all when Jesus died on the cross and took the stresses and sins of the world upon Himself. Praise Jesus for rainy days (and sunny ones)!

making the giants fall

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the story of David and Goliath. One particular verse keeps coming to my mind.

“As the Philistine (Goliath) moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him.”

1 Samuel 17:48

This verse just amazes me so much that I have to stop and pray each time I read it. David didn’t look at Goliath and see a huge Philistine army in front of him. He saw the armies of God that were giving him the strength to defeat this giant that had for so long been an enemy to many people. The story is more than “David versus Goliath.” It is “God-focused versus giant-focused.” While everyone else was alert to Goliath, David’s full attention was on God. He definitely saw the giant (he was probably not hard to miss), but he saw God more so.

We can learn so much from this story. Yes, we have giants to face. And yes, we can defeat them through the power God grants us. But there is so much more to learn from this story. It’s a matter of heart. The giants we face aren’t 9 feet 9 inches tall, but they are just as powerful. Our Goliath doesn’t carry a sword or shield, but he brandishes blades of a different kind. He attacks with abandonment, abuse, depression, unemployment, failure, and death. He brings bills we can’t pay, grades we can’t make, people we can’t please, careers we can’t escape, pasts we can’t forget, and futures we think we can’t face. WE KNOW GOLIATH PERSONALLY. He is the first thing on our mind when we wake up and the last worry of our night. He dominates our day and siphons our joy.

And what do we tend to do as a result? We retreat, hide behind busyness, avoid interaction with people, and run away from the giant. But what did David do? He rushed toward the giant with a God-saturated focus. He thought about the strength of God much more than he did the pseudo-strength of Goliath or his own weakness.

I want to be like David when it comes to facing my giants. We all face them. Yet we need not face them alone. Focus first, and most, on God. The times David did, giants fell. The days he didn’t, David did.

Focus on giants – you stumble.

Focus on God – your giants tumble.

summer of a lifetime

This is a video describing the Project I had the opportunity to attend last summer called the Intensive Training (IT) Project. It changed my life, and I encourage anyone who desires to glorify God through career missions to attend this summer project. God taught me amazing things through this experience, and I will never be the same. It ruined me for the good. More information about this summer experience can be found at www.thetravelingteam.org.

Thoughts on Matthew 16:15

What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.

Our images of God are not the same as our ideas about God. Images are not abstract ideas. They are pictures. That is, they are a powerful combination of thoughts and feelings.

Long before we were old enough to think in words, we thought in pictures or images. These images are loaded with emotion. From the first days of life we began storing memories of our emotional experiences. Images of our mother's face when she was distressed and when she was pleased, or of our father's face when he was angry or when he was laughing - all are stored in our memory. These images became linked with the soothing we felt or with the increased fear we felt in interacting with these important faces and voices. All of our experiences, from our earliest days, have been stored in our minds, some of them as emotionally laden images.

Left to ourselves we tend to immediately reduce God to manageable terms. We want to get Him where we can use Him, or at least know where He is when we need Him. We want a God we can in some measure control. We need the feeling of security that comes from knowing what God is like, and what He is like is of course a composite of all the religious pictures we have seen, all the best people we have known or heard about, and all the sublime ideas we have entertained. If all this sounds strange to modern ears, it is only because we have for a full half century taken God for granted. The glory of God has not been revealed to this generation of men.

Christians today appear to know Christ only after the flesh. They try to achieve communion with Him by divesting Him of His burning holiness and unapproachable majesty, the very attributes He veiled while on earth but assumed in fullness of glory upon His ascension to the Father’s right hand. The Christ of popular Christianity has a weak smile and a halo. He has become Someone-up-there, the man upstairs who likes people, at least some people, and these are grateful but not too impressed. If they need Him, He also needs them.

Secularism, materialism, and the intrusive presence of things have put out the light in our souls and turned us into a generation of zombies. We cover our deep ignorance with words, but we are ashamed to wonder, we are afraid to whisper “mystery.”

The low view of God entertained almost universally among Christians is the cause of a hundred lesser evils everywhere among us. A whole new philosophy of the Christian life has resulted from this one basic error in our religious thinking. With our loss of the sense of majesty have come the further loss of religious awe and consciousness of the divine Presence. We have lost our spirit of worship and our ability to withdraw inwardly to meet God in adoring silence. Modern Christianity is simply not producing the kind of Christian who can appreciate or experience the life in the Spirit. The words, “Be still, and know that I am God,” mean next to nothing to the self-confident, bustling worshiper in this twenty-first century.

WHO is GOD to YOU?

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” - Matthew 16:15

struggle with ministry

Ministry isn't easy. I'm not sure Jesus meant for it to be either. There are costs involved in following Him and obedience is hard. In Matthew 8:18-22 and in Luke 9:57-62, Jesus clearly lays out the cost that following Him would entail. Jesus Himself didn't even have a place to rest His head...who am I to complain? Ministry wasn't meant to be easy - the sacrifice is too great that Jesus made for us on the cross.

I have been struggling with this truth. It doesn't take much for me to grow frustrated and tired as I minister to others. I have become almost burnt out with the ministry God has given me here on the campus of WKU, mostly because Satan keeps putting distractions in my way. He is out to steal, kill, and destroy. It's a spiritual battle, but praise Jesus the war was over when He conquered death through His resurrection. With this in mind, I am learning to trust that I have nothing to fear. I serve a mighty God! The ministry is HIS, not mine...so I can believe His Word and let Him work through me. How liberating! So many times I have just wanted to throw in the towel, but God gave me a verse to keep me strong. "Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart." - 2 Corinthians 4:1.

When God through His mercy calls and commissions His servants, He also supplies the strength necessary for us to persevere in the face of hardship, frustration, and persecution. He alone is worthy! Ministry is HIS!

here's my life

This is my first post for a reason. A particular song has been engrained in my mind... God has used it in my life so many times before, but for some reason this last week, He has been using it to help me focus. It's called "Here's My Life" by BarlowGirl. I cry everytime I listen to it because it brings to mind the plans God has for me. Wherever He leads me, I will go. This song makes me think about the day that I will board a plane with a one-way ticket, and put all my energy into glorifying Him in obedience to the call upon my life. Surrender is hard, but Jesus is worth it all...no matter how hard it may be. Let the lyrics penetrate your heart...

Once again I said my goodbyes
to those I love most
My heart feels that familiar pain
as I long for home
Cause this road is hard
when I feel so far

And God I'm crying out tonight
cause I've given you my life
But I'm tired and I'm missing whats behind
So once more here's my life

On the day that you called my name
all that I knew changed
I found when I said yes that I
would never be the same
Though the call is hard
You are worth it all

Even when the tears are falling
when I find I fear the calling
You remind me
Words You've spoken over my life
Promises I've yet to see
You comfort me

And God I'm crying out tonight
cause I've given you my life
But I'm tired and I'm missing whats behind
So once more here's my life